Sex chats between strangers
Obviously, you're not going to perform psychotherapy in your chats with random social companions. Too often when we're meeting someone new, we try to fill the dead moments with chatter about ourselves. Of course, someone has to start the conversation, but if you and your companion actually listen to each other and not worry about what to say next, things will flow more naturally. This will show that you've been listening and will also allow your conversation partner to clarify if in fact you are way off in your judgment of what you thought you heard. It's easiest to do this if you refocus your attention from how you're feeling inside to how you think the other person is feeling based on that person's nonverbal cues.
But you can use the insights provided by Rogers to smooth over the rough patches in your chats with strangers. If the person seems uncomfortable with where the conversation is heading, shift gears.
I don't know where their boundaries are, and I don't want to accidentally overstep them.
I know I can safely discuss "certain things" with certain friends but not with others.
Maybe you're at a wedding, and you meet a friend of a friend of a friend. How about when you're in a high-stakes situation, such as a job interview, where you're expected to outshine the competition? How can you turn it into the start of something big (assuming you want to)? If you have an extroverted personality, you can probably be planted in any social situation and at least get the small talk started without feeling too much pain.
If you're on the introverted side, however, these situations can make you cringe.
And of course, there are "secrets," and "secrets" so I suppose it depends on what you're sharing and who you're sharing it with. Best, Susan Hi Ecstast, The reason why TMI should be carefully selected to be shared with just any otger person is because unfortunately there are people who are not genuinely good out there.
You can share an experience hoping you will spread an awareness, impart wisdom, etc., and while the other person is offered all of the juicy info, we do not how he/she can use it or manipulate it against you or on his behalf.
I'm reluctant to share intimate secrets with strangers, mainly out of a (possibly misplaced) sense of courtesy.
However, if you're getting cues from that passenger (or others around you) to the contrary, then take the hint that your silence would be considered golden. Perhaps you've heard that it's OK to tell strangers your most private secrets. Meeting new people and having to make small talk isn't everyone's favorite pastime, but if you follow these simple tips, you might find yourself enjoying some of the "extras" to balance your inner introvert. It makes me feel closer to them, even if I don't know them well.
If you find yourself constantly doing this wherever you go (and getting negative feedback), make sure you won't be bored by bringing along something to read or do to keep yourself amused. And I also feel comfortable telling anyone my "secrets".
Add to these pearls of wisdom a little social psychology, and you've got a perfect formula for succeeding no matter who you're talking to or how much you dislike or are averse to meeting strangers. Though some people enjoy debating politics, religion, and sex, other people would rather keep things light. If you follow steps 1-3 above, you'll be less likely to misjudge the person you're talking to, but we all suffer from the temptation to rush to conclusions about people based on superficial cues.
Learn how to gauge the impact of what you're saying by reading bodily cues such as posture, eye contact, and hand movements. Things aren't always what they seem to be when meeting someone for the first time. You can help your case even further if you have the chance to find out ahead of time who you'll be meeting along with a little bit of their history.
All you can think about is how much you'd like to escape.